Damnit [Andy]

Let’s call him Andy for anonymity’s sake. There seems to be one every year. Andy is that student you have a love/hate relationship with. Now, don’t start getting all holier than thou and think “how in the fuck can anyone hate a student of theirs?” Well, damnit it happens. Not the student per se but their actions. Yes, Ill say it, we teachers have a loathing towards students actions at times.It’s not that we haven’t tried our damnedest to rise above or even pray about it! (yes, despite my foul mouth, I pray)  but fucking hell there are times when I think, what in God’s green earth did I do to deserve this hell that i’m in. And, Yes! There are teachers who don’t know how to control their emotions professionally and have said hateful, hurtful things or even acted out of spite towards those students. I’m sorry, but the truth is, they have no business being in the profession. Control yourself! Never let your negative emotions take over or show towards a student by lashing out in hidden ways. Shame on you! I know there are days when at the first glance of [Andy] you get that feeling of “oh, for fucks sake, why did they have to come today?”, but with that feeling of distaste and loathing for a students actions there also comes a feeling a love towards them. Those are the days I look forward to the most. The days they greet you with the biggest, sweetest, most innocent smile on their face with a flower in their hand just for you. You can’t help but feel heartwarming love for the damn child. Rise above, get over it, and remember, every day is a new day, a slate wiped clean, so treat them that way. Rant over.

Back to my story of [Andy] 😉

This year Andy knows best, and Damnit if Andy didn’t have all the right answers despite the fact that I just said and proved otherwise.  This argument doesn’t happen once or twice a day. This argument is an all day, every day thing.

Me: Ok class, let’s review the letters of the alphabet. (You can probably guess the age group that I teach) Who can tell me how many letters there are in the alphabet?

Student 1: 20!?

Student 2: 27!?

Andy: 30! I know there’s 30. Y’all don’t know.

Me: Im hearing some great guesses! Let’s count and find out. Point to the letter “A” on your name tag. Let’s start at letter “a” and count. We will go all the way to letter “z”.

Whole class: “1,2,3……….26”

Andy: No, there’s 30! I know there is.

Me: Andy, we just counted, there are 26 letters in the Alphabet.

Andy: No there’s not! I know there’s 30.

*me thinking* Damnit Andy shut your fucking mouth!

Me: Andy, there are not 30 letters in the alphabet. We just counted. There are 26 letters. Now, lets move on. Class, how many letters of the Alphabet are Vowels….

We continued to review letters, vowels, consonants and number of letters of the alphabet at the beginning of each phonics lesson for the next couple of days and each time, Andy knew there were 30 letters and insisted on letting the class know.

By day 3 Andy has finally decided I just might know what the hell I’m talking about and quit arguing about the amount of letters in the alphabet.

Day 4

Me: Ok class, who can remember how many letters are in the alphabet?

Class: 26!

Student who sits near Andy: I thought there were 30?!

I glance at Andy, who has this evil smile on his face and I think..

Face Palm- *Fucking damnit Andy!*

(you can’t make this shit up!)

 

Back at it tomorrow

I’m going to be as blunt as I can. As an elementary school teacher, there are many lovable, laughable, frustrating, and “what the fuck!?” moments that happen daily; and in those moments, it takes a lot to hold back what I truly want to say; whether it be in response to a student who has truly lost their shit (figuratively and literally) or to the coworker who’s uptight attitude can kiss my ass.

I’m not an avid reader of blogs, nor have I ever written on a blog site before, so this will be new for me, but I wanted to give it a try. If you’re easily offended by crude comments and foul language or feel like teaching is full of flowers and kind words then you are seriously mistaken and can take your “my shit don’t stink” self right out of here. No, I am not a bitter old woman who hates my job and who quite possibly needs to retire. HA! I love my job and I love each of my students. Each year is just as exciting for me as the first year I started. It’s a true joy to see a student’s little face light up when reaching that point of  “I GET IT”.

My intentions are not to blog solely on teaching and all it’s glorious shenanigans, but just life in general. =] I hope anyone who stumbles onto this page will find a good laugh and return for more.